Taking the Susquehanna Valley by “Dust Storm,” the alterego of Dusteen Laudenslager comes out in full force every Monday and Thursday night from 8 to 10 p.m. in the PickelnerArena at the YMCA on Elmira Street, where she and the other league members of the Susquehanna Valley Derby Vixens roller-rock the flat track. Made up of two Roller Derby teams and hoping to expand in the future, The Guillotinas,captained by Christi Chadderdon — better known to her teammates as the ravishing “Disaster Girl” — and the Pretty Little Skull Crushers, captained by Alicia Banzhaf — otherwise notoriously known as “A.B. Riot” — go head to head, honing their skills in preparation for their upcoming bout, MAYhem, on May 7. As the newly appointed president of Williamsport’s own little slice of derby heaven, Dusteen, also a skater for the Guillotinas, and their brand new VP, Tegan Hartman (aka “Para Norma”; you haven’t had an encounter like herbefore), who skates for the Skull Crushers, have made an unwavering vow to keep this league skating full steam ahead.
Since the early 1900s, roller skating races, known as roller derby, took place on a raised track; the skaters would try to pass each other, then would either fall or collide into one another. After realizing that spectators enjoyed it excessively when the skaters accidentally rammed each other down, the sport evolved into what roller derby is today. Since then the sport has had many ups and downs. It wasn’t until the beginning of the new millennium that roller derby got a breath of fresh air. The flat-track version of this sport was created and has stretched throughout the country like an uncontrollable epidemic. Not only are leagues emerging all over the United States, but other countries have been hit with flat-track fever.
Williamsport has been no exception to the rule. Right here in our own backyards, women of all ages and backgrounds have been scouring the racks for colorful tube socks, thigh-highs, and fishnet stockings. These ladies have been dusting off the miniskirts, tutus, and bandanas while vigilantly wrapping it all up in protective gear; they lace their roller skates with pleasure because there’s no reason you can’t be sexy, safe, and hard-core. The women in this league and on these teams could be your next-door neighbors, family members, co-workers, or the women you buy coffee from every morning. They are homemakers, photographers, artists, students, nurses, and so much more. They are always looking for new members, or “fresh meat”; anyone is welcome to come down Thursday nights between 8 and 10 p.m. to observe and find out if roller derby is something they would like to be a part of. However, be forewarned: this is a sport. So before you pull up those nylons, throw on a pair of booty shorts, and get all sexified, thinking all you’ll be doing is skating around in a circle all night, think again. These women are put through very rigorous training that teaches strategic maneuvers and offers different types of exercise styles such as yoga, pilates, and plyometrics, pushing their bodies to the extreme and then some. As the beauteous Kim Hughes (aka “Isa Bella Vixen”), one of the founders of SVDV, always says,“It’s not if you get hurt; it’s when you get hurt”—from sprains to broken bones. These ladies are very serious and dedicated to the sport, gearing up with pride in their bruises and rink rash. But roller derby is more than choosing intimidating or entertaining names and smashing into the girl next to you. There are consequences for illegal actions just likein any other sport, and that is one of the major things you will learn through practice: how to smash into the girl next to you legally and as safely as possible, even as you hope she goes crashing to the floor and out of bounds.
Roller derby is not just for women, even though the skaters are only women. Men,too, can and do play a very significant role in the sport. SVDV’s inimitable head referee, Curtis Musheno, also known as “Smiley Whiplash,” is always looking for new referees, male or female, to come and lay the smack down on flat-track justice, keeping the ladies on the straight and narrow. They are currently looking for coaches, and volunteers are always welcome.
The Susquehanna Valley Derby Vixens, just like many other derby leagues, are not just people who meet, practice, and then go about their day. Apart from the leagues, these women and men become friends, family, and a force within their communities. They do what they can, volunteering their hearts,blood, and sweat not only on but also off thetrack, helping out with local organizations, foundations, and charities. If you have ever wanted to be a part of something truly unique and special, show support for your local roller derby league by coming out to brave the track. Coach, referee, play a role behind the scenes, cheer them on at bouts, or become a sponsor. Any way you get involved, they will definitely feel the love. If there is any other information you need, please don’t hesitate to contact Kitty Leomiti, aka. Bella Dama Deadly, kittysartnphotography@yahoo.com, (570) 494-7248.
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